December 9, 2009

Thank with your Head, not with your Heart

Better late than never.

I wanted to have a blog up for December, and I have actually been killer busy at both the day job and the night job. It's made me a relatively angrier person than regular.

Sidenote: I despise like a cancer the insincere bulk texts I get on Thanksgivings. It's cool you remembered to say thanks, but it comes off as genuine as an Ed Hardy shirt.

I believe my thoughts become my words, and my words become my beliefs. So , I am going Oprah-esque and putting the good vibes out again.

Here's some shit I am thankful for:

-My day job, I bitch and moan alot about it, but there are alot of people unemployed right now. Thanks to the managers and owners of my day gig.

-Rick Shapiro, meeting Hurricane Rick was something of a trip. we met out the Improv, one night. He was impressed with my knowledge of Sean Penn movies. He motivates and inspires me to go deeper and not be content with horseshit sets.

-Mike Gundy, It's very gay I have my college football coach up here this high, especially after getting his ass handed to him my Mack Brown and Bob Stoops, but he does give a shit. He just needs to work smarter instead of harder.

-My bank, Oklahoma Central Credit Union, They approved my loan, I got my Jeep, and life has been easier ever since. They are also a bank staffed by Americans not customer service reps in some third world shithole who barely speak the language.

-Frank Kelley, he gave me a job at Jon Lovitz Comedy Club (likely against his better judgement), he's let me earn stage time, I've made him money, and he's made me a better comic.

-Mustafa Ahmad, Jason LaCour, Angelo Bowers, Josh Adam Meyers, Scott Bowser, Rodney Wade, Justine Marino, Leisa Mills, King Anyi Howell, and Chris Putro; These are LA Comics I see grind every continously and are always blowing me away with new shit. They are funny demons and they push me to be better comics. I'd give them all hugs, but they would all try to grab my dick....except Justine and Leisa.

-My parents, they put up with my horseshit, and still love me unconditionally. It's kind of wicked retarded that I left them this low on the list, but they know how ADD I am.

-A special girl, she motivates me like a motherfucker to write and be funny. Her praises encourage me. Her scowls make me work harder. She sometimes drives me nuts. We'll probably end up like Mickey and Mallory. I am not saying her name, because it isn't nessecary, and she knows who she is.

Anyways, I'm not as angry as I sound all the time. But I am just always busy.

If anyone asks, I'll just say I started from least important to most important.

If I left you out, get over yourselves...FUCKERS!


  1. "As genuine as an Ed Hardy t-shirt" hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... that was awesome.

  2. You have a heart of gold, Matt Lewis. Ssssshhhhh...I promise I won't tell anyone.