March 26, 2009

Cigaretes and Beer, Life is Long


In Ferris Beuller's Day Off, Matthew Broderick said, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop to look around you might miss it."

It was cute at the time, Reebok had their adreaniline-testosterone induced, lowest common denomonator aimed slogan, "Life is Short, Play Hard"Both of these sayings are quaint and go along with the optimistic outlook on life. Neither the scriptwriter or ad writer realized how stupid they sound. I can tell neither have hosted the marathon show at the Pig N Whistle. Especially without my two biggest comic influences, Cigarettes and Beer.

The Legend Doug Stanhope said three things have made him a comic, drugs, cigarettes and beer; Drugs so he has interesting thoughts, Cigarettes so he has the patience to write the jokes, and beer so he has the courage to tell them to a judgemental audience.

I respect any comic who can do this without beer and smokes, I have been trying to live better, and save money, by staying off the cigs and beer, and I am bored out of my mind. I really don't care to extend my life, if I am just going to be more bored than I already am.

I've had a borderline interesting life, I grew up on a farm, I went to predominantly black high school, I went to a big state university, (RECENT ADD ran with the bulls in Tijuana, Mexico) I've visited almost every state, joined a fraternity, moved to LA, seen alot of my favorite musicians, athletes, and comics play live, wrote for the LA Times, met some of my heroes in person. I am not gonna lie, those things have been fun; but the other 99.9% has been skullnumbing boredom.

I don't care to have that long of a live, if I can't tell if I am comatose or not. I'll let as many mass consumers/ blind to their idiocrcy/ contently mediocre fucks breathe up all the oxygen. In the meantime, I am going to go try and fill it with Tecate belches and Parliment Light Smoke.

Life is Beautiful, The key is quality, not quanity.