Training Day, My firstborn.

Training Day - watch more funny videos

This is the first sketch I wrote and produced. It started as a joke i made with one of my co-workers, and turned into this. I've always wanted to act, and write. I was cast in minor parts in a few things, and motivated me to learn how to make movies.

I don't know how to do all the technical photography and editing, but I am learning the process.

I was very fortunate to be able to cast a group of really good actors that GOT the script and what I was trying to do. Also very fortunate to work with Matthew Copeland. This was his first camera and editing job, and I think it looks solid.

Enjoy the show!

not as tech savvy as i need to be

I don't have the physical gifts of my father, an electrician, carpenter, plumber and mechanic. I grew up when the goal was to go to college , sit in front of a computr and make enough money so you'd be able to pay someone to do that.

I haven't.

So my computer skills should be flying high, right? I'm decent.
I used to be impressed that I figured the way to copy photographs from websites back in 1997. haven't prgressed much more than that.

never learned HTML, photoshop, and right now, I can't get facebook to delete one of my emails from my facebook page. (the one I use for real people work)

This shit is frustrating. I'm glad you found this. :) <~~~that was the other thing I learned.

truth

I am having such performance anxiety that I can't finish this blog because I fear you'll judge me.

JESUS

Fixing Business with Pleasure

I’m a comedian, I tell jokes, I make money for it, sometimes. There is a certain level of professionalism, yet I still I can perform my job while drinking, and I get to talk about penises and minorities. I am single, I’m not lonely, but I am in my thirties, which in my hometown would have me between my third and fourth wife by now.


























It takes a special person to love a comedian. We travel alot, and when around we are sarcastic, jaded a-holes looking at life as material. It takes a special person to love a comedian.




Some comedians/ comics go the simple route, they date within the clan. It makes sense, they are around. They likely “get” you, and you have similarities.


One problem, when you break up and likely date another comic, you start to get a reputation, I’m not saying it’s valid, but you get one. So, yeah you kind of have to own it.



Quick story.
I worked at a gas station chain back home; loved it. There were like 60 stores in the city, we worked hard, worked jackball hours, and partied a lot. Often fellow employees would wind up hooking up. It was no big thing. However, once you hooked up with a with a second employee, the guys and gals were both looked as sluts. (However in Oklahoma, you can be considered promiscuous, for having killer dance moves , and yes I do have them)




Being looked down by your coworkers can truly fuck you up, and put in you in a socially awkward state and possibly affect your job performance.

The only advantage to being a skanky convenience store employee over a skanky comedian? We had health insurance at the gas station.

You can find me in da club...

Comics that talk shit about porn stars, Jersey Shore and Ke$ha but are afraid to talk about Industry are more pussy than doing black and Mexican jokes in Beverly Hills. I have always thought staying with safe topics is as appealing as having sex while wearing a T-Shirt. I’mma talk about comedy clubs.



Comedy clubs are in business to make money; which is sort of expected. What really is sad for comedy is some clubs get so focused on short term profits; they forget that it’s a million times easier to get a person to come back, than come out once.



If you are friends with a comic, and they are relatively new, they will invariably invite you to a shitty show. I did it, and yes I apologize. These are shows that no one wants to see and are usually in real screwball time slots. These are Bringer shows. They are godawful and the only reason anyone goes is because they are somehow friends (at least until this night) of one of the comics.



Ever been to a comedy show and only one section of the crowd is laughing their balls off, to a mild chuckleworthy joke? Yup, that was a bringer.






Bringer shows are full of cute names like “emerging”, “developing” “bursting” comics that could just all be easily called naïve. They don’t realize they are doing the producer and promoters job for them all in the name of premature stage time.



To their credit, it is HARD to produce a successful show in Los Angeles. I have done it with a moderate amount of success.


There are a handful of comedians in Los Angeles I have seen that know how to get an audience, and most importantly, get an audience to return. I tip my cap to the comics that book their own shows full of hot comics : Mark Fry, Sam Tripoli, Jonny Loquasto, Justine Marino, Jimmy Talerico, Chris Millhouse, Rudy Moreno, Amir Kamyab, DJ Cooch to name a few. You know something else? They are all funnier comics, because they surround themselves with the best comics they can find.



If you look at consistently hot shows, Tiger Lily, 12 Shiny Nickels, Comedy Juice, Punk House, Refried Fridays, Mo Better Mondays, Comedy Revival, Comedy Meltdown, Chocolate Sundays, Comedy is Dead, etc, you see the top shows have all two key elements, repeat patrons, and top comics


What these faggot producers don’t realize is it fucks the game up, by ear-raping a casual audience.


For example, you and I both open a restaurant on the same street; I do regular stuff, you sell your pasta for a nickel a noodle and have people lined up around the block. It’s great until you realize people find out your cooks don’t wash their hands after squeezing one off and your meat came from Sub-Saharan Africa. Botulism spreads, people leave, don’t return and no one wants any Italian food.


And now I’m going broke because you chose to be a faggot. Gay people shouldn’t be upset when I say faggot; faggots should be though.

Sappy Lew Year

OK So i feel like a piece of me has been removed, which normally would be traumatic, but my cancerous negativity has been replaced by recent events.



My new year started off in fine form. In fact I'll back track even further.



I was back in Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, I met a cool chick at a bar. I charmed her with my yelling at the TV during the Bedlam loss (Damn you Landry Jones!!) I got her number we hit off her, so yeah that was cool.



Then I team up with two really skilled, smart and savvy comics to put togather one of the best shows anyone in LA had seen. I got to showcase a few of my younger comics along with four legitimate headlining comics (Sam Tripoli, Bil Dwyer, Jerry Rocha and Marianne Sierk. The house was packed, we sold tickets, we were able to pay the comics...amazingly rare that this happens in LA.






The girl from Oklahoma came out to LA for New Year's Eve. We hung, I showed her LA, and got to give her a kiss at Midnight on New Year’s Eve…Cool, but even cooler when I add that we were at a dope party in Silverlake and had an awesome view of the fireworks from Dodger Stadium.



Yesterday, I was off work from my day job, and had like a Hollywood day, the kind of day I dream about.



I did some newspaper interviews via phone for some upcoming shows. I booked some shows for February. I was able to do a favor for a very talented comedienne who will appreciate it.



And then I found out I am booked for a TV show, small appearance, but enough to get my SAG voucher.









It’s finally happening…I am at a loss for words, and I am ready to get uncomfortable and take the next million steps.



I’ll try and not be a douche, but I hope I am ready.



I had a show at the Comedy Store last night, and somewhat fell flat, but I didn’t care. I know I am talented and am excited about this opportunity.
A guest of mine walked with me on my way out the back patio, and was impressed with all the comics reaching out to say hey.


Awwww Fuck, I’m starting to like LA. I must be sick

This post is gay

I truly don't give a shit about some of the gay issues in the media these days. I am in fact patting myself on the back, because I no longer have cable TV so I don't watch the slop that passes for news. One of the things I hear about ALL the time are the gay issues.



I don't know if this was part of the all out blitz by the Republican party to take back the Congress. To me, It's a mysteriously polarizing issues. I work with many gays, through my dayjob and in comedy. Chances are they don't want to fuck you.



Walking through life being afraid of people is not attractive to anyone. Granted in a prison situation, yes raping the homophobe may be attractive, but I personally won't end up there until Los Angeles makes parking tickets a criminal offense, in lieu of a way just to fuck with the general populace.














I don't consider bullying of gays a problem. I consider bullying of anyone to be a problem. Yes, It's unfortunate that people feel the need to section off and go for the weak. Yet animals do it all the time.



And yeah some of the weaker psycholgicaly people will take the lead sandwich, chances are they were just looking for a reason to do it. People are assholes, and teenagers show little restraint. Water is wet, the sky is blue, and NBA'ers bang blondes. I wish it wasn't true, but let's not polarize and just protect gays from the failures at life. Let's work on society.

Gay Marriage, I don't give a shit. I don't plan on getting married. nor am I gay.

It's like NHL highlights during Sportscenter. I am not Candian, I don't ice skate. All you are doing is interrupting any chance I could have to watch Oklahoma State football highlights.

I think gays should be treated just like everyone else. let them do the will stuff, the insurance stuff, and let them be as lame as all the married straight couples I know. If someone is adament about stopping gay marriage, here is the best you can do....Don't marry a gay person.

I do chuckle about gay adoption. I ruined a pair of pants one time when I heard a newscaster say, Gays rearing children.....yes I'm 12.

Gays in the military is a hot topic for republicans. If they were as fiscally responsible as they claim to be, and not into policing the world. Our soldier supply wouldn't be in such a dire need.

I think Don't ask, don't tell was righ for the 90s , and showed that homophobes can serve alongside gays. However, now that the cat (or cock...heh) is out of the bag, per se. We should treat these cats that serve our nation just like anyone else.

I am surprised that so many of them are OK with being dressed alike though. (yeah that was kind of a weak one)